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Support for victims of infidelity

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New Here [Jun. 11th, 2008|11:18 pm]
Support for victims of infidelity


[Current Location |at home]
[mood |crushedcrushed]

I'm 36 y/o married for 6 years with 2 teenage stepdaughters.
My husband cheated on me 3 weeks ago.
I found out June 5, 2008


I got off work at 7 pm on May 29th. I stopped by my husbands work to see him but, he wasn't there I called they said he went home to work in his shop. So, I go home he isn't there nor is his brother the kids haven't seen or heard from him. So, I cook dinner help with homework and around 11:30 I decide to go to bed and about 12:30 my husband and BIL come home I question them on where they have been and they said a bar by the house I chewed him out for not calling and went to bed.
How I found out he cheated: June 5, he goes to work and then calls me saying that someone file a complaint on him. We were like WTF? We both go to the poice department they wouldn't let me go back with him nad about 25 minutes later my husband comes out white as a sheet and quiet and needs his brothers cell number I ask if everything is okay he said " I don't know" I asked am'I in trouble he said "No" I said are "WE in trouble" he said "MAYBE" let's go somewhere and talk so we start talking and he says remember when my brother and I went out to the bar and I said yes, Well, there was this woman hitting on us and we took her back to her place and we had sex!!! I lost it for a minute. The police did a investigation and the charges were dropped she changed her story 3 times.
]And, now she is crying RAPE!!!
I just bombarded him with questions like
Did you use a condom?
Where does she live? 
What does she look like?
How could you do this to me!!!
No condom was used!!!! So, I yelled "do oyu realize you put me at risk of a STD, Hep. B or C and fucking AIDS!!!!
After all these years you told me how you hated cheaters and you go and do this!!!
She is a older woman, blonde hair, skinny and he descride her as riden hard and put away wet!!!
He knows I don't trust him. 
He is not allowed to go to ANY bar with out me!!
I call him every 2 hours.
I can't help it to look for this woman where ever I go. I want to see her face. I know her first name. But, I want to see her. I don't want to stir anything up I just want to see who he cheated on me with.
Every question I had he answered.
But, I'm having panic attacks.
I went to the doctor and got tested for  STD'd, Hep. and HiV all came back negative but, I go back in 6 months for another Hiv test.
How do I get over this? We talk every night!! About anything I'm feeling. But, I can't seem to get it out of my head to want to see this bitch!!


From: (Anonymous)
2008-11-12 03:38 pm (UTC)

i completely understand

i was ready your posting and could not believe the dates you used. may 29th my husbands birthday and june 5th my birthday i too found out my husband cheated on me and I am devistated. so many emotions i hate my husband and feel so lost and alone right now. i hope you are doing better.
(Reply) (Thread)
From: demurepixie
2009-08-17 12:18 pm (UTC)

Strength in Numbers..

How are you coping currently? Since this post it has been over 2 months, are you beginning to find live a little more bearable?

I know you don't know me and I don't know you but I feel for your situation deeply and on a very personal level, I to have felt the sting of infidelity.

I totally understand why you need to see her. You need to see what he wanted over you.. It's so normal but at a point you have to stop torturing yourself, it's hard but necessary to move on. (I know a did a very similar thing).

I saw a counsellor with my husband when he cheated and she said the way over this is 'time' and him (ur hubby) to be as transparent as possible.

I want to be able to give you a fix all method, as I wanted one. But support is all I have to offer and pray that you get through this.

God Bless.xx
(Reply) (Thread)
From: valeriecardone
2010-01-06 01:34 am (UTC)
That experience might be tough for you and your family. Infidelity is a huge problem among married couples, and something that is expected but when you discover one, it still shocks and torments you. Nevertheless, I wish that you can move on and start a new life, and yeah, it's great you seek the advice from a counselor. It will make things easier for you.
(Reply) (Thread)